May is flowers and springtime and strawberries and Mothers, mostly Mothers. Everyone has or had a mother, but surely, no one has a mother like mine. She doesn’t drink coffee or tea, drink alcohol, play cards, craft, garden, or go on girl’s weekends. She took a dim view of living in the country, marriage, having children, and road trips. What she did like to do was read. She was a true champion reader. I’m sure no one was more familiar to library staff and on less friendly terms. She was not interested in small talk. Human beings tended to irritate her, but cats gravitated to her and she accepted their company. Dogs? Smelly and unacceptable. Also, she didn’t like things. I believe her perfect room would be lined with book shelves, have a good reading lamp, and a comfortable sofa and nothing else. She doesn’t like antiques. An unapologetic feminist, she doesn’t wear jewelry, carry a purse, or shave. So, narrows down the gift ideas, eh?
But, she loves flowers, candy, and lately, family dinners. Since Dad and I both garden, we keep her stocked with blooms year-round. Roses specially planted for gorgeous scent, sweet peas, lilac, and blossoms of many kinds grace the kitchen table, mantle piece, and powder room. Our family’s go-to candy for the last fifty years has been See’s candy. No holiday is celebrated without the familiar white box. One pound, dark chocolate, nuts and chews, please.
Something else she really loves, is her little sister, my Aunt Rose. Beautiful, kind, gracious, and fun, Rose is her bright spot. I remember them going off for ladies’ lunches for spinach salads and chat, taking a break from the mom thing. Rose’s cheerful outlook would temporarily rub off on mom and the visit were always cherished. They must have talked about books. An English professor, Rose taught a variety of literature in her classes and would talk to Mom about various authors. About one British author, John Dryden, Rose asked Mom if she’d read any of his work and she replied, “Yes, I’ve read everything he’s written, several times.” So there’s that.
Sometimes, by using Rose as bait, I could lure her into something that she would normally think was prosaic or bourgeois, like afternoon tea, for example. She was not interested in the ceremony aspect but loves the food. Rose says Mom likes comfort foods, like those one might find in a traditional British nursery. What is more comforting than egg salad sandwiches, warm scones, lemon curd, and plenty of luscious cakes, cookies, and sweets?
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Mother’s Day tea is served from Grandma Lady’s tea cart and silver tea tray, atop a vintage tea cloth, with an embroidered tea cozy and linen beaded cream pitcher cover, with fragrant geraniums.
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Before Rose moved to Hawaii, I had the opportunity to have a Mother’s Day tea honoring Mom and Aunt Rose. I made the collage, seen above, for the invitations. I set it up in my parent’s living room and served from my Grandmother Lady’s tea cart. I believe the tea was a success but was bittersweet as we were saying goodbye to Rose, who was about to slip into the far off unknown of the Hawaiian Islands. In a way, we were also saying a very slow goodbye to my mother, who has been traveling to the darker unknowns of Alzheimer’s disease. Luckily, we get to have her with us, at home, surrounded by flowers and chocolates and kind ladies who help care for her. Each Mother’s Day, therefore, has to be precious to us. About Mom, the tense is of the present and of the past, as she is somewhat here and somewhat gone. We’ll try to treasure each moment as long as we can. Please cherish the mothers in our life.
